Friday, March 1, 2013

Dear Unnamed Singer,

Dear You,

I will admit, I do rock out to your songs on my way to work.  I also understand that they are completely nonsense, but that didn't stop me from writing you today.  Did you consult with Saber-Toothed Tigers in the making of your most recent song? I may not be up to-date on my feline knowledge or the processing of alcoholic beverages but I am having a hard believing that Saber-Toothed Tigers had the opportunity to imbibe a warm, All-American beverage in their heyday. 

I can honestly say that I have never felt like a Saber-Toothed Tiger when I sip on warm beer, it really just makes me feel awful about my life, for a couple of reasons:
1. I hate beer, so if I am sipping on some you know that my night is going terribly wrong.
2. I hate warm drinks, it usually means it is awful but I am trying to finish what I paid for since I sometimes still have that college-kid mentality or I have to make it last because I have to be responsible...either with money or my life, both of which are unfortunate.

I feel like you may have portrayed them in a not so flattering light, which could tarnish their reputation since they aren't here to defend themselves.  However, I do understand that you may have one living with your unicorn and therefore know more than me, but the odds of that is not in your favor.  But I guess for the sake of fairness, next time I am stuck with a warm beer, I will try to channel my inner Saber-Toothed Tiger and see what comes of it.

But I still think you are an air-head. Who writes really catchy tunes. But still dumb.


Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Dear Bikers of Champaign and Urbana,

Yeah, I did laugh a little when you decided to blow through the stop sign so I honked at you and scared the crap out of you and you fell off of your bike.  Sorry, but not really.  What gives you any right to go through the intersection when you have a stop sign, just like me? Ok, because if I decided I didn't want to stop, you would sue the crap out of me and make sure that you told everyone how awful drivers were for bikers' safety.  I cannot stand that bikers are "cars" when it's convenient and "pedestrians" when it's convenient.  Doesn't work that way, plus you make it way less safe for those who actually are drivers or pedestrians.  Suck it up, follow the rules of the road, otherwise I may just run you over next time.  Darwin was on to something...

Bad news, I celebrated this weekend because Champaign, Urbana and UIPD have decided to start handing out $120 tickets to all of you who don't need to follow the rules because they don't apply to you.  I think I see an end to this recession :)


Monday, May 30, 2011

Dear you,

Welcome to my not so anonymous letters to those in society that catch my attention by doing things that I feel they should remain anonymous for. All views expressed are my own, that is why this is my blog, not yours. Take it or leave it, but don't cry about it.